Izod
mike: lacoste... ewww, isn't that the same shit as izod?
me: i know! is it? that's what i been wondering. it's like the same logo... are they the same company?
mike: they were and then izod became uncool and lacoste split from them or something... but remember when we were growing up? izod polos weren't cool.... at all...
me: i know... it was like, for dads and golfers. dude i was asking everyone... isn't lacoste the same thing as izod? and no one seemed to know what izod was.
mike: yeah it's the same thing. weird that it's cool again. but i still refuse to wear it...

The Mystery
kevin: man, steve was so drunk last night.  he frickin came in the room at like, 4 or 5 in the morning, and we're trying to go snowboarding at 7am.  he starts slapping dave in the face, but dave's completely passed out.  so then he climbs up to my bunk and starts telling me to get out of his bed.  and i'm like, what the heck, there's an empty bed on the floor.  i almost kicked him off the top bunk.  he starts yelling that he can't find his boxers and wakes cindy and angela up.  they come in and calm him down.  they tuck him in the empty bed and waited til he was passed out and left.
dave: dude, he couldn't find his damn boxers cause he was looking in my bag.  he opened up my bed and threw everything all over the room.  when i woke up in the morning, i couldn't find any of my stuff, i was so pissed.
me: wait, when i went up to wake you guys up, steve was passed out in the hallway in the fetal position with nothing but his boxers on.  young and suel laid some dirty socks and boxers on top of him and balanced an empty beer can on his side and took a bunch of pictures.  they were frickin giggling about it at 6:50am.  that's what woke me up.  i woke up with an empty beer can on me, and i was like, wat the heck.  but anyways, the girls tucked steve in with all his clothes on.  how did he end up in the hallway naked?
steve: dude, i don't frickin know what happened last night.  i don't remember any of it.  i got frickin owned.

A Weird Question
pradip: so everyday i work out at the gym at Microsoft at 6am.  one day i'm jogging to the gym, and i notice a guy in a car, and i can't really see his hands.  he calls out to me so i go over to him, and he's like, "can i ask you a really weird question?" so i'm like, "alright." and he's all, "can i give you a blowjob?"  and i was like, what the hell... and then i realized why i couldn't see his hands.
kevin: haha, tell everyone what you said.
pradip: oh, i was like, "not right now. i have a headache". it was the only thing i could think of on the spot!

80's Trivia
<on the drive up to Vancouver>
steve: it's kevin's turn to answer our trivia questions.  just ask him anything from the 80's.  he won't know it.
<all thinking hard>
steve: what were the transformers enemies called?
kevin: dude, i don't know.
steve: the decepticons! name one transformer.
kevin: dude, i don't frickin know.
steve: name all the people from saved by the bell.
kevin: man, i'm fob.  i came here in the 90s.  this game sucks.

Alcoholic Amnesia
dave: hey i'm still in seattle.  can you come back and get us?  i was going to drive suel home but she lost her keys.  she told me to find them, but she says i can't look in her purse.  she told me i could only reach in and feel around for them.
kevin: wtf.  ok we'll come get you.

<about 15 minutes later, at Kevin's place in Bellevue>
suel (rummaging through her purse): i gotta get home, where are my keys?
kevin: you lost them.  plus, your car is still in seattle.  hey call dale and see if he has your keys.
suel: ok.
<suel dials her cell phone>
suel: wait, who am i calling?
kevin: dale.
suel: wait, why am i calling him?
kevin: cause you lost your keys.
suel: i lost my keys? where am i?
kevin: bellevue.
suel: where's my car?
kevin: seattle.
suel: oh.  but then how am i going to get home?
kevin: you're not.  you're crashing here tonight.
suel: i can't crash here.  i have to get home tonight, where are my keys?